Battousai's Woman
by Kjpanny Kjchristie17
Summary: Kaoru has given up on being loved, blaming herself, but then Kenshin and Battousai teach her just how wrong she is.


"Kenshin, we're out of wasabi."

The red haired swordsman glanced over at Kaoru, his expression confused, "But I just bought some two days ago."

Kaoru's face turned red, as she muttered something under her breath. Kenshin frowned, catching broken phrases, "…tried to cook…pitch black…"

He started hanging the clothes he had just finished washing and smiled, "You really shouldn't worry about cooking food, Miss Kaoru. I can handle it just fine."

He was met with silence and he glanced over his shoulder at the raven haired girl. His eyebrows met in concern at the strange expression she wore as she stared at the clothes he had been hanging. It seemed both sad and wistful.

"Miss Kaoru?"

She jolted suddenly, as if realizing her surroundings and he ventured, concern present in his voice, "Are you alright?"

She blinked under his scrutinizing look and nodded, mustering a smile, "Of course, I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you about the wasabi."

Something was bothering her. Was she catching some sickness? Kenshin made a note to keep a closer eye on her as she retreated into the house. She had begun acting a bit odd, lately. Her cheerful personality had dimmed; her smiles came less often, and were mostly forced. And she was often lost in her thoughts.

Were they facing financial problems? The wanderer scrunched up his forehead, mentally calculating and then shook his head slightly. Their finances were fine. In fact, they had been doing much better recently. Then what could be on her mind.

Still immersed in his thoughts, he started on the other household chores and soon that worry faded into the back of his mind.

Later that afternoon, as Yahiko finished his daily training, he wandered onto the porch to find Kaoru sitting there, staring at her wooden sword with a blank look on her face.

"Hey, ugly! What are you doing?"

She flinched like she had been slapped and then looked up at him, "Did you want something, Yahiko?" The boy frowned, and crouched down next to her, "What's wrong with you? You sick, or something?"

"I'm fine. What are you rambling on about? If you're hungry, Kenshin's in the kitchen."

Making a face and muttering something under his breath, he made his way into the kitchen, before stopping and looking over his shoulder, "Well, aren't you coming?"

Kaoru stood up, and dusted her clothes, murmuring, absentmindedly, "I'm not hungry. I'm going out for a while."

Sword still in hand, she exited without a backward glance, leaving Yahiko to stare after her. What the hell was wrong with her? Before he could form any further thoughts, Kenshin popped his head out of the kitchen, smiling, "I thought I heard voices." His smile turned into a frown, "Where did Miss Kaoru go? I'm sure I heard her."

Yahiko gestured towards the gate, "She left, said she wasn't hungry."

Kenshin stood straight, and now his eyes shone with concern, "Did she seem upset?"

Yahiko shrugged, "Don't know. She was staring at her sword when I came out and then she just said she'd be back later."

Lost in thought, Kenshin, handed the empty bowl to Yahiko, "Go help yourself to lunch. I'll go after her."

As he rushed out the gate, Yahiko yelled after him, confused, "But she said she'd be back later!"

However, his words were ignored. Staring at the empty bowl in his hands, he made his way into the kitchen, a small niggling in the back of his mind.

Kenshin walked along the path. Kaoru had not been at Tae's, or in the market. Where could she have gone? She didn't have any friends to whom she would go.

He stiffened at the thought. She didn't have any friends, did she? Now that he thought back, she was always a loner, in all the three years he'd known her. Why was that? A girl her age should have plenty of friends, but she didn't.

It was then that he saw her. She was sitting by the riverbank, her ankles emerged in the water, her sword in her lap. He wanted to move towards her, but his feet were rooted to the spot. She looked so lonely as she simply stared into the water. So fragile, so alone. He had never thought of her that way, as being lonely. But not that he thought about it, she was always that way, wasn't she? Barricading herself in that dojo, taking in people who were practically strangers.

How old was she? Twenty three, twenty four, past the age of getting married. Women her age were already married, their second child on the way. And here she sat, no husband to lean on, no child to hold. Just her, alone. Like she always was.

The very thought of her having a husband, of having a man who would hold her in the night, who would be the one she smiled at, made him scowl. No man was worthy of her. She was a rare flower and he refused to give her up.

He loved her. He didn't know since when. Maybe it was when she told him to come home. When she called her home, his home. Or when she sat with him in the night, drinking tea and arguing with Yahiko. She was his family. His first family and he couldn't let go of her.

She was like an addiction to both him and the monster residing in his soul. Everytime, she would yell at him, or throw objects at him, the Battousai in him would rear his head and perk up, curious about this woman. She was an enigma. Strong and beautiful; so independent that he wanted to make her submit, only to him. And at times, he saw it, the desire in her eyes to submit to him. He had glimpsed it when he had fought Saito and Battousai had emerged to the front. He had seen the look in her eyes, that desperate look to be owned by him, to be his. But the then the fight had ended and life had gone on.

Did she love him? He didn't know. He didn't want to know. Because knowing would mean crossing a line and changing everything and he was content with the way things were.

As he studied the girl, he watched her lean forward and slice at her reflection in the water, a bitter chuckle escaping her lips. He started at that sound. He had never felt that emotion from Kaoru and he realized that he didn't like it. He didn't like her behavior these days. She was too silent, too quiet. He wanted that loud, cheerful girl back. He wanted _his _Kaoru back.

Mind made up, he walked towards her and sat down next to her.

"What are you doing out here, Miss Kaoru?"

The raven haired girl jumped and then shrugged, "Nothing in particular."

"Why didn't you stay to eat lunch?"

Kaoru looked over to him, "I wasn't hungry."

"Are you sick?"

She was silent for a moment and then muttered, "Stop doing this."

Kenshin frowned, "Doing what?"

She gestured, helplessly, "This! Worrying about me. Stop it. I don't want you to worry about me. Just leave me be."

Kenshin looked at her defeated expression, and asked slowly, "Why shouldn't I worry about you? You have started acting strange, Miss Kaoru. You don't laugh anymore. You hardly smile and I don't like it."

Kaoru snorted, "Why do you even care?" And then her eyes widened as she realized just what she had said. She closed her eyes, hoping he would just go away.

However, he had heard, and he mused aloud, "Why do I care? The same reason I have stopped wandering, Miss Kaoru."

He watched her expression flit before settling back into it's despondent mask. Gently, he asked, "What is troubling you, Miss Kaoru?"

She looked at him and studied those purple eyes, and that gentle smile and her heart ached and she found herself murmuring, "Just reflecting on what I lost."

He immediately looked worried, "Did you lose something, Miss Kaoru. If so, I can help you find it."

She laughed. For the first time in days, he heard her laugh like this, so openly.

When she stopped laughing, she leaned forward, placing her hand on Kenshin's cheek, "What would I do without you, Kenshin?"

Although, she had laughed, there was an unbearable sadness to it, that had him asking, "What did you lose, Miss Kaoru?"

She gestured widely with both her arms and spoke, "Everything. I lost everything."

A strange sort of panic started bubbling in his mind. He felt like he was losing her and she was slipping out of his fingers. His control started slipping. Battousai wanted out.

His fingers clenched in the grass and his eyes shifted from purple to golden.

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Kaoru turned her head to study him. She didn't speak, just watched him. As he glimpsed the hollowness in her eyes, the acceptance of something that frightened him, he spoke harshly, "Explain."

Her lips upturned from the corner and she shook her head, "I can't."

"Try."

Hearing the command in his voice, she blinked and drawing her knees up to her face, she mumbled, "I give up. I just give up."

Battousai rattled his chains in fury.

"I always thought that by now I'd have my own family. Children, a husband, someone who would love me." A bitter chuckle left her lips, "It turns out I'm not capable of being loved. I'm too violent, too ugly, too loud. I tried to change, but it didn't work. So I've given up. I've accepted it."

She tried to blink away the stinging in her eyes, "It's just that at times, I don't understand why someone can't try to love me. I mean, I'm not that bad. I'm just a bit odd, that's all. I want to be loved too."

Battousai broke his chains.

"Love you? You think nobody loves you?"

The change in his tone, in his demeanor, made her stiffen and she watched him warily. His eyes were hidden by his bangs. A low chuckle left his lips, as he reached out a hand and grabbed her nape, drawing her to him. Her eyes wide in shock, she froze at the close proximity of their faces, as he spoke in that silky tone of his, "I'll kill the first man who dares to look at you. They know who you belong to."

"W-what?"

He went on, like she hadn't just spoken, his eyes hooded, masking that lethal gaze, his mouth inches from her, "You're like a harmless kitten who thinks it's a tiger. I particularly enjoy your little tantrums. Everytime you attack me, I think up of ways to punish you. A little mix of pain and pleasure. You can't handle what I want to do to you, my little hime. Or maybe you can."

Kaoru's face was pale, her shock evident. One of his hands was holding her by nape and the other was caressing her throat. The same hand that had taken so many lives was now touching her body. As his hand moved lower, an involuntary moan slipped out of her lips and he smirked, "You're stuck with me, Kaoru and I don't plan on letting you go. You want children?"

His hand caressed her abdomen and pressed lightly, "I'll have you filled up in no time."

"You want a husband? I'll marry you today."

At her wide eyes, the smirk faded and was replaced by a fury that frightened her, "But never will you demean yourself! You are MY woman. You are the Battousai's woman. Yu are the only woman who I proclaim my equal."

His eyes softened then, and turned back to that beautiful purple. Kenshin leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, "And you are the only woman, who can make me feel human and not a monster."

She didn't speak but she wrapped her arms around him as he spoke, "However, you belong only to me. You submit only to me. I will be the only one to tame you. Your heart has always been mine as has your body. Say it."

She buried her face in his neck, feeling a sense of peace after so long. Her words were muffled but her heard them clearly, "I belong to you."

As he smirked, he heard her mumble, "And you belong to me."

A.N Just a little oneshot. Do review.


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